Writer ~ Editor ~ Creator

Writer ~ Editor ~ Creator

Entertainer, Humanitarian, Author, Lover but most importantly, Kenji's Human

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Having the Last Word : What's the Big Deal?

Over the years, I have heard people complain so and so always has to have the last word and how it bothers folks. As a result of society's negative stigma of always having the last word, I have adapted to the belief this is a negative action or a turn off to some people, but why?

Recently, a friend mentioned that I always have the last word. I have been thinking about what he said and trying not to, at least with him anyway. If he mentioned it, it must bother him. I respect him and our friendship so if not having the last word is important to him and does not negatively affect my life or inconvenience me, happy to try and curb the urge. 

What's the big deal?
I am the first to make changes to improve my relationships with people and improve who I am as a member of society as long as it does not go against my beliefs or change who I am at the core. For example: Kenji doesn't like it when I play music at a certain decibel or songs that have whistling in them. I simply don't blast my stereo when she is in the car or I will simply  change the station if I notice a song makes her uncomfortable. This does not change who I am or my relationship with her, just makes her more comfortable. Easy. So when the comment was made about having the last word, I became more conscientious and made an effort not to do it. He was appreciative and now we joke about it, but what I discovered was interesting.

I realized it was my way of having closure on a conversation and to me, I thought I was being polite. He would text me or call me and the conversation would often hang or end with a 'good night', 'talk to you later', 'see you in a minute', etc. Naturally, I would respond with an "okay", "ttyl" or if the conversation just hung out there like text messages often do.... I would respond in an effort to end the conversation. Apparently, this is considered having the last word. In some instances I would text him to say.....don't leave me hanging or else I will have the last word. This would usually produce a chuckle. Fun times.

My self awareness led me to a new discovery and ultimately wanting to know: What's the Big Deal with Having the Last Word.  I want to hear your feedback. What do you think about having the last word? Why is it such a stigma and what is wrong with "ending a conversation?"

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I've Saved 6 Lives. How About You? ~ Part II ~

When I began writing my last blog "I've Saved 6 lives......" I intended to write about both the cats and dogs I have saved over the years. As many know, I love to talk/write, therefore I have split up my series into two parts. The first part was about the 3 dogs and this second part is about the 3 cats I have saved. If you have not read part one please do! I've Saved 6 Lives. How About You? ~ Part I ~

.......Dogs are my first furry love but cats aren't so bad. They are also good companions if you are not allergic to them and do not mind being controlled in your home. Dogs on the other hand are easily trained. If you are having difficulty let me know as I have it down to a science! Just like kids, they need boundaries, rewards and love. Piece of cake! Watch out Cesar! I digress.... I could write about dogs all day. On to kitties....

I rescued my first cat when I lived in San Diego. A friend had liberated the kitten from a couple of kids who had found her in an alley and were tired of playing with her. I really am not a cat lover but the cute little fur ball tore at my heartstrings. I named her Precious. Words of advice; get to know your pets personality before naming her or she may end up being the EXACT opposite. This cat was a wholly terror! While I was at work she would bounce off the walls and chew on the hanging pictures. Crazy cat.

Eventually, I gave her to my parents as they had a big property and she could roam free. She ended up running away because of Sting.... a cat my Dad rescued for me after I ran a way from home at 16... another blog post entirely. Years later, my parents sold their house and moved away. When the house was on the market again, I stopped by for a tour for old time's sake. As I was leaving, I had one of the most incredible experiences of my life.... Precious came walking up to me from down the street. Her eyes were locked on me as she approached and sauntered up to me. We had not seen one another in more than 10 years. She sat down in front of me and looked me in the eye. I felt she wanted to say 'I've had a good life, thank you.' It was great closure.

Four years ago, Kenji (my doggie) and I moved into our beautiful house. It was not long before I discovered there was an orange cat that came with it. His name was not on the deed at signing, but it was obvious he wanted to be here and came with the yard. I named him Orange Kitty in an attempt to not get attached. Poor thing had a rough time fighting to keep the backyard to himself. Everyday, I would run outside to hissing and fighting as he fought cats attempting to defend his territory. I really don't think he would have succeeded had I not intervened. I began feeding him and it was not long before he was there to greet me when I left and when I returned at night and sleeping on my doorstep. After more than 3  years of love and affection, sadly he passed away. I took him to the vet on his last day of life and lovingly let him spend his last night in my home despite my allergies. I buried him in my yard where he was happiest.

Orange Kitty had a beautiful friend..... Siamese Kitty, I suspect you can guess her breed. Siamese Kitty was abandoned next door and neighbors would feed her. She would hang out with Orange Kitty and come to his rescue. On several occasions if another cat approached, Siamese Kitty would literally step in-between Orange Kitty and the other cat. They would snuggle together at night to keep warm.

After O.K. passed, Siamese Kitty took his place in my yard. She is so sweet.....if I sit down outside, she curls up in my lap. When I leave a door open, she strolls in the house. I really want to find a home for her where she can stay warm at night and curl up everyday on someones lap. She truly wants to be indoors but I am allergic and Kenji is a 'no thank you' cat kind of dog. Kenji is a one pet human kind of dog and I promised her I would keep it that way. I think she was a little jealous of my fish Luigi, but I can't prove it.

Prior to Orange Kitty's passing, I had researched where I would send him if I ever moved. I decided against the Humane Society after learning they have so many cats, more than likely he would be euthanized. I discovered a wonderful rescue Cat House on the Kings. They are California's largest no-cage, no-kill, lifetime cat sanctuary and adoption center located on 12 acres. Please check them out and donate if you feel the urge.

I may take Siamese Kitty to Cat House on the Kings, but would prefer to find her a home! Please let me know if you or anyone you know would like to love her and provide her with a warm home and a safe life. I will provide the food!